I think i'll be a vegetarian
by 6flapjacks
Summary: Wybie pays a vist to the Beldame,one that she'll never forget. after that expirience, shes considering becomeing a vegetarian! kinda funny


**A/N: thought I'd do something about Coraline, just because I LOVE THE MOVIE SO MUCH! So I was thinking what if a child just got so annoying that the Beldame told them to leave the other world and never come back? Think it could happen? kinda short, i might add a second chapter later on, but we'll have to see how this one goes first :). Disclaimer: duh I don't own any of this.**

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The other mother drummed her fingers tiredly on the counter. What to eat? Her 'other' therapist had suggested more than once that she become a vegetarian, that way, she wouldn't have to wait as long in between meals. That idiot. What did he know about what she should eat? She created him for goodness sake! Looks like she was in need of an 'other' friend. Something without an opinion, something that wouldn't talk back or try to give advice. Something that would just nod its head and say " mm, honey, I totally agree." . she started working her needle legs towards the sewing room when she heard it. The creaking of a door. Not just any door. A little door. THE little door. Coraline? She snapped her fingers and returned to the form that imitated Coraline's 'real' mother, Mel. Then she heard a little male voice. She listened closely

" WOW, Jonesy is SUCH a liar. This door doesn't lead to anywhere, just back into her living room. I cannot believe that she would lie about that." A male voice grumbled. She heard the soft thudding of footsteps creeping toward the kitchen. Though she wasn't as prepared as she had been for Coraline, this would be a piece of cake. She recognized that annoying voice, it was the Lovat kid. While watching Coraline through the doll's eyes, she had learned a little bit about him. he liked bugs, skulls, and dirt bikes. Also it has seemed that he had a little crush on Coraline. Yes, this would be almost too easy. 'I'd better start making lunch for my little guest!' she thought to herself as she reached into the pantry to grab the peanut butter. She planned on making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Kids like PB and J , right?

"Coraline? Hey Coraline! I didn't go through the door ok? I'm right-" he stopped abruptly upon entering the kitchen.

"Oh! Why hello..err… um hello…" Damn. She couldn't remember his name. something with a W for sure, but what? "Hello Winston!"

"Wybie." He corrected.

"right. That's what I said. Hello Wybie!" She said, her lips twirling into a crescent moon shape, and when back to the PB and J. " I hope you're hungry, I'm making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch!" She smiled brightly, though Wybie didn't share her excitement

"PB and J?" He asked putting his hand on his hip

"Yes… what's wrong sweetie? Don't you like them?" She asked, still keeping the sugary sweet smile plastered there

"yeah, but even Grandma could make that. And trust me, most grandmas are good cooks, but mine- uh- not so much. Besides I heard you're a good cook, so can't you make something that I don't usually have? Like… oh! A taco? Or hey, how about a burrito? I really like Mexican food. It's really great. Don't you think? But Coraline says it makes me fart too much. But what does she know. She also said that your food is really good. You remember Coraline right? About yay tall, blue hair, brown eyes. Hey doesn't that sound backwards? Usually you hear people having brown hair and blue eyes but never blue hair and-" she shut him up by putting one of the peanut butter and jelly finger sandwiches, which she had used a cookie cutter to shape as different bugs while he was ranting, into his mouth. Coraline had been right to like other Wybie more, he couldn't talk therefore WAY less annoying. The beldame almost felt sorry for Coraline for a minute, she had to put up with this endless ranting every day.

"How do you like them?" she asked, hiding her annoyance with sweetness, so sweet you would have thought she soaked them in caramel. Wybie shrugged

"Eh, I've had better." The beldame's fists tightened into little balls. Sure she could take annoyance, but when someone insulted her cooking, that's where she drew the line. " you know who makes the BEST sandwiches? Coraline's mom. Mrs. Jones. They are the best, sometimes she even puts bananas in them" He grinned. The other mother took a deep breath and thought about how good he'd taste after she's sewn in the buttons.

" well eat up. You're a growing boy. Afterwards you can ride you're motorbike."

"my motorbike? Nah. What else do ya got?" he shrugged

"wait, wait, Wybie, I don't understand. Why don't you like motor bikes?"

"well I mean, I do. But I have one at home. Coraline said you have all this exciting stuff here. Pfft, yeah right Jonesy. You only have stuff I have. So what's the point in coming here?" he shrugged and started to get up.

"wait a minute, how about a motorcycle? How about that sweet heart?"

"no good. Grandma said motorcycles are deathtraps on 2 wheels. Of course she says the same thing about cars, except on 4 wheels, but that's hardly the point. She said that if I were to ever, I mean ever, drive a motorcycle, she would find out and then she would murder me in my sleep. Well no that's exagerating, but something really really really really bad-" once again the other mother got fed up and interrupted him

"'dingdong!' oh lets go see who's at the door!" she beamed

"wait a second, there was no door bell! You made that noise"

"Other Coraline! How Nice to see you!" She said too loudly. Other Coraline was dressed all in pink, her blue hair was pulled in pigtails.

"Why hello there Wyboure. However so nice to see you." She smiled " I thought perhaps we go for a walk, and maybe even, well maybe we could even hold hands." She giggled. Wybie looked at her strangely

"Can't. sorry other Jonesy, but Grandma said if I ever have any physical contact with a girl, she'll get pregnant. And die. And last time I checked holding hands is physical contact, and I just don't you to get pregnant, and die, hope you understand. It's just to be careful. I mean-"

" Ok, wasn't this fun? Alright. Well nice seeing you other Coraline. Bye bye, don't stay away too long now, see you soon" the other mother said as she ushered other Coraline out the door. She closed the door behind Coraline and rubbed her temples. " I don't suppose you want to go to your house and see you're bug collection?"

"No because keeping bugs locked away in jars is-"

" I don't care." The other said slamming her fist on the table. " do you want to play a sport? Hockey? Football? Soccer? Tennis? Lacrosse? Anything?"

" well let's see. No, nope, no way, no, and no."

"of course." She sighed

"hey do you think you could make me a taco?"

"no. get it you're self." Wybie was beginning to think that Coraline was wrong and that the bell- damn, or whatever her name was, wasn't that different than her real mother.

"could you make me some clothes? You made Coraline some clothes once, remember? She still has that sweater. It looks cute on her, cause it's like, the same color as her hair. Now it's a little tight, but I think it's better that way, if you know what I mean." he paused for dramatic effect and to wink. " but so was thinking that you could make me-"

"that's it!" the other mother exclaimed jumping up. " ding dong, oh looks like we have another guest! Who could it be?" she said quickly opening the door. " Coraline! Again! What a surprise!" Coraline was now dressed dramatically differently. She was now wearing a tiny black leather skirt, a fishnet belly shirt and red bra, and rather looked like a hooker. Wybie's jaw dropped as he stared at the girl in the door way. " Hey Wybo, so I was thinkin', we could like hang out in my car. We don't have to touch or anything, well I mean, unless you want to." Other Coraline smirked. The other mother rubbed her hands together. Oh teenage boys and their raging hormones. This was all too easy. The boy's next move was something that she didn't anticipate. But she should have guessed, considering that it's Wybie. But she didn't

"HEAR NO EVIL, SEE NO EVIL! HEAR NO EVIL , SEE NOT EVIL! HEAR NO EVIL, SEE NO EVIL!" he chanted closing his eyes and covering his ears. The beldame head her head against her palm. Once again, the other mother pushed Coraline out the door.

"get. Out. Of. My. House." She said barely louder than a whisper.

"huh?"

"Just go. Right now. Go to the door and leave. I've had enough of this. My god, I need a vacation." Wybie looked at her with a look of shock. Coraline had said that she would never let him go

"Well didn't you hear me? GET. OUT. NOW." She Pointed, rubbing her forehead. Stunned, Wybie obeyed and climbed back into the real world. The beldame sighed. Maybe she should listen to that crazy shrink. It was time for her to become a vegetarian.

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**A/N: Wybie , oh Wybie. Ha. Hey here's a fun idea, why don't you review this? Huh? Huh? I heard it keeps the beldame away? no but really reeeviewwwwww! Thanks for readdinggg :) - 6flapjacks**


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